Ok - so it's been a while since I've posted. I know. It's been really busy - starting an orphanage takes a lot of time and effort and through the process there's still even more growth that happens on my part. So it's been a while but I'll do better about posting - I promise :)
So first let's play a little catch up and then I'll fill you in on what I just an't believe! First, we opened our girls dormitory and my good friend Danya moved to Mexico to be our dorm mom. It was a really difficult decision for her but in the end it really came down to whether or not to obey God and really that's not too difficult of a decision. So here she is! She settled right in and life is good.
Then the attacks came. You know when you start something that God has asked you to do the attacks will come. And you think you are prepared because you know they're coming and yet when they come - you realize you weren't as prepared as you thought. It came in a different form that you weren't expecting. Yep - that happened to me. You would think I've walked with the Lord long enough I would know this but still - somehow it came as a surprise. So we fasted and prayed and battled. But you see the Lord is good and He is the one who has started this ministry. And what the Lord starts - no one will be able to tear down and no attack of the enemy will succeed. So we fasted and prayed and here we are - I think stronger as a team and I know personally, stronger as an individual.
I have taken on even more of a director's role. Where before we had someone who would go out and find the kids and work with the families and schools, I have now taken on those tasks. The enormity of it all can be daunting but I know God has called me to it and I will not shrink back from it. The joy of the Lord is my strength.
So I worked with my first kid and my first family. We had a girl come to us - who has a mom but she can't care for her child. I asked to talk to the girl and as she poured out her heartbreak to me my heart broke with hers. As she shared her story of abuse and neglect I just wanted to take her in my arms. So we told her she is loved, she is beautiful, she is valuable. And we will continue to tell her that every day. We will continue to tell her that not only is she loved by us but by a God who died for her because He loves her that much. And we will watch as the Lord repairs what has been broken and we will glorify him in that.
Here's what I can't believe. That there are kids that feel so unloved and unwanted. I know - I've been seeing this for five years and living in it for almost a year but I still can't believe it. And you know - I've come to an even deeper understanding of it as I talked with her and she told me her story. Here was this broken little girl who wants nothing more than to be accepted. And that truth - that kids are hurt and abused and rejected every day sunk in deeper into my soul. And you know what? God picked me! He picked me to be here to be used as His instrument for change! I can't believe it! I'm not sure why - most of the time I feel inadequate but then that happens - and I'm able to talk to her in Spanish and understand her story, I'm able to reach her heart, I'm able to stretch out my hand and offer her hope. He picked me! And it's such a privilege.
When you see those homes that are really no more than plywood tacked together and missing part of the roof and you realize a family lives there, it's hard to believe that I am here to be part of the help. It's hard to believe a family COULD live there. And it's hard to believe that those living inside would be able to feel hope again.
But we try - because that's why we're here. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, Eph 3:20 - Of course I can't believe it. He told us we wouldn't be able to believe it. He can do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.
Wow how your life can change when you see the conditions in which someone lives and then you hear the heartbreak of one little girl. I still don't know if I'm qualified. But I know that He is. And THAT is what I do believe. He sent us here to offer hope and future for children in Tijuana. THAT is what I believe He will do.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4
Let the children come - come all who are weary and heavily burdened. You will find refuge under his wings. You will find rest. You will find hope.
THAT you can believe.
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