That One Moment...

There's that one moment when you stop and realize, you're really happy. That moment when you have so much joy in your heart that you want to shout to the world about it. That moment when you realize The Lord has just given you the desires of your heart. That moment when you hear the laughter of teenage girls, and the giggles of boys, and their voices rise as they practice memory verses and realize, you're the happiest you've ever been. 

That moment isn't without troubles of it's own. Money is needed. A new roof is essential with all the rain that is falling. It would be nice to have a dryer so we can wash AND dry the clothes since it's raining. There is a river where there once was a road in front of our house. Food needs to be purchased. Kids need clothes. More kids need saved. And yet in that moment, everything is right with the world. 

Why?

Because for all of my life I have felt as if I was always working toward something. There was always something building. It was all just part of the journey. A journey to where? I didn't know. I just knew that I was working toward something. My calling. Wherever that may be. I completely loved each season. I loved each place. I loved the people. It was all so good I never wanted to leave. And yet...I knew I was still working toward something. 

Now here I am, standing in my kitchen making tuna salad for lunch. Listening to the laughter as the kids practice their memory verses. Enjoying the moments of Bible study together. And I know. I'm the happiest I've ever been. Not because everything is perfect. But because He is perfect. His will is perfect. His timing is perfect. And He has brought me here. 

I never knew my desire would be to move to Mexico. I never knew my desire would be to start an orphanage and fill my house with kids. I never knew my heart's desire would be here, this moment. 

He has given me the desires of my heart. Thank you Lord that your ways are higher than mine. 

The Adventure Continues

It's amazing to me how much joy fills your spirit when you are walking in the center of the will of God. 

I have been so very happy in many stages of my life and I know God had me in those place for a reason and for a season. But that moment when you finally walk into the promised land and into his will is just amazing. 

Here I am in Tijuana, Mexico. Materially - I have less than I ever have. Spiritually - I have so much more than I ever dreamed. 

Who would have thought that when God said - "hey move to Mexico and start an orphanage" that it would bring me more joy than I've ever experienced. Now I have these kids around me, my house is full, and my spirit is overflowing with His living water. 

Even as my heart aches at not having all of my children around me and not seeing my oldest son much, my heart is still full of so much joy. 

I realize that this adventure will be difficult. I realize there will be times when I'm not sure where the milk will come from or maybe it's just beans for lunch. I realize the first time a child leaves will break my heart. But I also realize that just as Peter stepped out onto the water believing in his whole heart that Jesus would provide a way for him to be able to walk on it - God will make a way where there seems to be no way. 

He called us here and on His path - we simply CANNOT fail. 

My God is faithful. 
My God is powerful. 
My God is victorious. 
My God is bigger than anything I will face. 
My God is love...

...and that love is what we will share with everyone we meet in Tijuana. 

The Adventure of being All In with God continues and no matter what we face, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Just Amazing

I’ve always known my son was different…special.  When the diagnosis of Autism/Asperger’s came to us it wasn’t really a surprise.  It was difficult at first as I think about all the things my son might never do, but I also began to see the beauty of it.  I was told to pray for a miracle. I believed the miracle had already come in our son.

You see, my son can be very childlike and the beauty of that is that he isn’t jaded and the Lord tells us we should have childlike faith. My son has great childlike faith. If the Bible says it, it’s true – period – end of discussion.  God says He will provide so of course He will. Why are you worrying? God says He works all things for good so what are you stressing out about?

The other miracle that has occurred in my son is that he has great understanding of spiritual things. He will listen to a message in church and instantly understand what it means and how it applies to his life. And sometimes these are concepts that adults have a difficult time grasping.

There are so many other little miracles have exist in my son and I marvel at them every day. Today was no exception.

As you know we are in Mexico to start an orphanage. God called us here and Christopher has been with us from the very beginning of this call. As a matter of fact I believe He heard the call first. Today, we learned that it is a possibility the regulatory agencies may not let us keep our pets. Now if you know Christopher, his pets are his world. These pets are how he connects to the world, they give him joy when he is sad, they help him cope when he is overwhelmed.  So to hear this news would be devastating to him.

He cried, of course he cried. I reminded him of some scripture that we have been memorizing and tried to encourage him that we shouldn’t worry about these things until we know for sure.

Do you know what he said?

“Mom, if we have to get rid of them, let’s just make sure they go to a good home.”

He knows why we’re here. He is ready to make a sacrifice for the work that God has told us to do. Would it be painful and hard? Absolutely. But he’s ready. He’s already sacrificed. He’s given up his home and his friends. But he’s ready to do what he needs to do. After all God sacrificed for us. Why wouldn’t we do the same.

My son is amazing! I see a miracle in him every day. 

30 Days

30 Days...It's only been 30 days. And yet so much has changed in such a short 30 days. 

There are experiences in life that change your life forever. 4 years ago a mission trip to Mexico that I went on simply because my son wanted to changed my life forever. 

30 days ago a leap of faith and a move to Tijuana changed my life forever. 

One walk into a girls prison to share the love of Christ changed my life forever. 

As I walked into that room today prepared to talk about the love of Christ and share verses from John that they too could be free, I had no idea the afternoon would hold so many tears, fears, and thankfully - forgiveness.  Those young girls who know what they've done and whose only hope is forgiveness opened their hearts and lives to us and how can you not leave there changed? 

Such a change from what I'm used to. Normally it takes time to build relationship and trust with people before you even hope they'll open up to you. But these girls...these beautiful girls are so desperate for hope and forgiveness that they open up right away. 

What a privilege to be in that room as they receive Christ in their hearts. What a privilege to be able to hold them and share the peace that comes only from Christ.
What a privilege to offer them Hope. 
What a privilege to be able to go back week after week. 
What a privilege to be part of their lives. 
What a privilege to have a Refuge and offer more help.

It's been 30 days...And moments like these have changed my life forever. 

Our first week!

This past week our team from Las Vegas came to visit. Wow! What a blessing they were. The first couple of days we worked on unpacking and organizing the house and putting together bunk beds for the kids. I cannot tell you how much of a blessing it was to have them here. 

On Thursday we went out to the juvenile prison and were able to have a group with some girls. We talked about Jesus and their wounds and were able to speak life into them. There was one girl in particular that was just emotionally torn and we were able to minister to her. The Holy Spirit was there in a big way and what a privilege it was to be part of it. 

We then went to Revolution Street and handed out food and supplies and the Word of God to some homeless and less fortunate. We were able to pray with several people and to see their hearts receive a blessing from the Lord was amazing. 

  

Finally on Friday we made great progress in officially setting up our organization. We filed step 1 of the paperwork and should have a letter that it's ok to begin operating within a few weeks! 

God is so good! What a privilege it is to minister to homeless, helpless, and hurting people of Mexico. My heart is full. 

Would you like to know more about our ministry and see how you can help? Visit us online at www.BuildTheRefuge.com  

Here we are!

We are finally here! We've arrived on our mission field. Making the move has been very difficult and the first week was spent unpacking (even though there is really, still so much more unpacking to do) and getting settled in. Our team from the states is here now and I'm so excited to get started doing what God called us to do. 

Before we take in any kids we have paperwork to file and approvals from the state to receive. So the question is, what do we do in the meantime? I'm so glad you asked!

This week we are going out to the Juvenile prison. We will go out twice this week. Once to minister to the girls and once to minister to the boys. We're very excited to meet these young people and love them with the llove of Christ.  We also are going to be going out doing a prayer walk and handing out supplies to some people on the streets. 

We may not be able to take kids into our house yet but we can let them know we are here and begin to lay a foundation. 

God is so good and I'm so excited to see how he will work here in Tijuana!

How can you pray for us? Again, I'm so glad you asked! Please pray for us to have wisdom with the paperwork that we need to file, and things that need to be set up, pray for The Lord to soften the hearts of those we meet and to go before us, and please continue to pray for finances as setting up an orphanage and caring for young people is not cheap (the cost for school alone is daunting!). 

Thank you for your prayers and support! 

Connected Hearts

Last night we went to the home of some dear friends for dinner. We wanted a chance to have one last meal together and pray together before we begin our journey to Mexico. 

I have made it a practice, not to say goodbye because I truly want to say connected. I'm not leaving their lives I'm simply relocating while still having our hearts connected. So I was relieved when they didn't want to say goodbye either. 

We had a wonderful, home cooked American meal and wonderful conversation with good friends. It was relaxing and wonderful and I loved it. 

Then it came time to pray. I love to pray and I love to pray with friends and my dear friend and have prayed countless times together. To pray with her before I leave and to have her pray over me and my family and give us a word from the Lord was an amazing experience. 

They prayers were beautiful, the word from the Lord was right on target and exactly what we needed. They painted such a beautiful picture of what is to come in Tijuana. We left feel armed, protected, and ready. But most of all we left feeling our hearts connected. 

As we leave for Mexico I know that we're not leaving Las Vegas behind but we take it with us. We take it with us through so many connected hearts, memories of the past decade, and the support of friends who are more than just friends - but family. 

I no longer feel worn, I feel ready! I'm ready to step into the adventure of All In!

All Things

As time winds down here in Las Vegas, our move to Tijuana is coming up quickly. In just 9 days, we will pull the uhaul out of our driveway and begin our journey to Tijuana, Mexico.  

Accounts have been closed or are now scheduled to close. Most of our belongings are already in Tijuana and we are busy packing the rest. 

Moving to Tijuana to begin a home for kids is a big undertaking. I know the Lord equips us but somehow I feel like an underdog in such a large task. 

Then I decided to watch a movie...Invincible. Have you seen it? It's a football movie and a movie about an underdog. A perfect combination for me and I loved every moment of it. One of the best things I loved about the movie is Vince Papale's motivation. Every game he would look at a note his ex wife had left him that said "you're nothing, you'll never amount to anything" and more...until the day they won their first game. On that day, he decided to tear up the note. He stopped believing he was nothing, tore up the letter, and decided to believe what he knew about himself. 

It would be very easy to believe that I'm not equipped, that we won't have the money, that we should stay in Mexico. But I refuse to believe those things. You see, I have a a big God. I believe in the God of the universe, a victorious God! I have a God who equips! And He loves these kids and for whatever reason He has appointed us to help them. 

So I will enjoy every moment of this underdog story. I will abide in Him who already has this figured out. And I will believe the things He has already written. I will believe in who He is and know that He abides in me! 

Watch out Tijuana! Here we come!

"All things are possible to those who believe" Mark 9:23

The Big Day Is Almost Here

Wow! I knew leaving would be hard but the reality of it so much more than that. After living in Las Vegas for ten years, and not just attending but working at the same church for almost as long I have begun deleting myself. 

My mom and dad have been gone for many years, my grandmother passed away earlier this year, and my church family has been vital to my growth and really so much of who I am today. And now I've begun deleting myself. When you leave a church family it's hard. They're not just my church but they truly are family. Leaving is hard in any circumstance but when you work there I think it's even more difficult. I have to train my replacement to take all that I've done and make it her own and feel the free to change what I've created. I have to delete myself from systems, take my name off the website, out of the database, and I don't even have a mailbox any longer. 

When I go into my home much of my furniture has already been taken to Mexico so I walk into a house filled with less furniture and more boxes. We're eating off of paper plates so I could pack our dishes. 

When I see friends I hear about how much they're going to miss me - which is awesome. I'm so glad they're going to miss me and not just write me out of their lives but it's still painful to hear because I'll miss them too. 

And then there's the in between, I'm not gone yet and I also haven't yet arrived. I'm in limbo. I'm not longer here but not in Mexico either. 

Leaving is hard. 

So what is left? Remembering all of the amazing memories I've created over the past ten years. Treasuring every moment and every sweet goodbye. And also, looking forward to the lives I'll invest in when I arrive in Mexico. Looking forward to reaching girls that have to enter the world and aren't quite sure how to do that. Looking forward to snuggles from little arms that used to be homeless but that now warm my heart as they have a warm bed to sleep in. Looking forward to reaching out to the kids - yes the children that you'll find in the red light district and praying for their escape. 

Yes, the in between is where I am now. Looking back as well as looking forward. It's a difficult place to be but it's a place I will cherish. 

It's Official!

The moment has arrived! The consulate called and the visa is ready. Official residents of Mexico. That moment where extreme excitement comes as we watch the Lord's plan unfold. Followed by the moment of grief as we leave our home behind. 

What a roller coaster of emotions I've been on and I'm sure will continue for the next 50 days.  Things happen so slowly and you thing progress will never be made and then all of a sudden everything starts moving all at once and you can't help but think it's moving too fast. 

How do you move forward - ever so quickly - when you are still grieving? It's all about perspective. I will choose to focus on the girls that we will bring into our home. The girls that won't have to be on the street. The girls that we will see Jesus. I will focus on the new country and city that we will embrace and love, that will be our new home. 

The enemy of the best is the good. I will keep my eyes fixed on Him as He bring us His best. I love you Lord. Where you go I'll go. Where you stay I'll stay. I will follow you!

God Provides

Time in Las Vegas is growing short. We are less than two months away from our move to Tijuana Mexico where we will begin a transition home for girls who are turning 18 and must leave the orphanage. Everyday I see the statistics of human trafficking and hear about the stories of kids on the street and it breaks my hear that we aren't there already. But there is much to do here in Las Vegas before we go. 

The financial attacks on our family haven't ended but we have faith in our God who is infinitely bigger! We met with an attorney to set up the non-profit organization and the cost is $3,000. Since I had been working on our budget and set up costs for furniture and things, that $3,000 nearly overwhelmed me. But I turned to God and boldly asked for provision. 

God is faithful! Immediately, that day we received a donation of dressers for the girls. That was followed by a donation of a bunk bed and two mattresses. And finally yesterday another donation of a bunk bed and mattresses.  We are officially furnished to receive four girls when we arrive in Mexico. 

Now all we need is to raise monetary funds so we can set up the Non-profit organization and the monthly funds needed for their education, care, etc. But God is faithful! I know He provides and He will provide for these girls. He loves them even more than I do. 

As I begin to train my replacement at work, build a structure for the organization and home, pack my home, contemplate the logistics of moving our things to Mexico, and say goodbye to dear friends, I think about the girls-those we know and those we have yet to meet. I think about who they will have the freedom to become in safety. And I thank God for the privilege of being able to be a part of it. 

God is good! Let's keep moving forward!

Our New Home

Our Front Yard

Our New Home

 Our Back Yard

It's official! We have a home! There are many things that are different than our home in the states but that's ok. We're in Mexico and we're doing what God wants us to do. Not only that but He has provided a great home with a lot of land. 

One thing I've noticed as we've begun the transition of moving to Mexico is that my entire mindset needs to change. The culture is completely different, their way of doing things is different, so many things are different. Not necessarily bad but very different. I have to stop thinking like an American. Gone is my walk in closet and you know what, I'm going to have get rid of some of our clothes...and shoes! Apparently I have some excess :). But among some of the things I've realized is that there's no constitution and bill of rights in Mexico. 

And with that I've realized, that we come to expect so many rights. I have a right to this and that and the other and many have grown up entitled. No more bill of rights. And I'll be working with people who have never had a bill of rights and have lived most of their lives in an orphanage. Talk about rights, they've not had their own room. 

I'm not there to bring America to Mexico. I'm there to love these kids and help give them a shot at life. So I'll pair down my wardrobe, I'll give up my wonderful new dishwasher I love, I'll live without a clothes dryer and a closet. I'll ask permission to bring my guns and I'll leave them if I don't receive permission. I'll give up a thousand little ideas of how life is and I will embrace Mexico. Because when it's all said and done, I love the city, I love these kids, and I love my God. 

"Where you go I'll go. Where you stay I'll stay" Send me Lord! Send me!

How Could You?

That dreaded question that is sure to come! People will always come when you step out in faith to follow where the Lord leads. How could you? 

In my case, it's how could you move your autistic child to Mexico, away from his friends, his home, and everything he knows and is familiar to him. 

The answer is simple but not always easy. I don't know! All I know is that God said move and I need to move. And since the Lord told me to do it I believe He is going to work all things out for His good...even my son. After all He loves my son even more than I do! But living in the middle of that question can be difficult. 

But then after I've lived with it for a little while and I have been faithful to give it to the Lord, He brings me a glimpse of His answer. 

We went to Tijuana and my son looked out over the city and had the most serene look on his face and said, "mom, look at that view". It was in that moment that I knew he loved this city and everything was going to be ok. He would adjust. It would be hard for him just as it will be hard for us but he will be ok. When I see him playing with the kids and he radiates the love and joy of Christ I know he will be better than ok. 

He will learn an important lesson of doing things even when they're hard. He will learn how to adjust to changes in life because you know what, changes are going to happen. I don't help him learn by adjust to changes by sheltering him from all change. He will learn that you follow God's voice even when it's hard, you don't understand, or you can't see the path clearly. 

How could I? Because I love my son and I love the Lord. How could I? Because I'm a good mom and I need to prepare him for life. Not prepare him for life as an autistic child but prepare him for life as an adult. How could I....How could I not?

Take Heart

When you make a decision to step out in faith and follow where the Lord leads you, the attacks will come. Although, I'm sure this won't be the last attack, the first attack has left us standing and laughing at the weakness of the enemy. 

Attacks: 1) Virgil's car needs repair $$, 2) Unexpected trip back east to visit my grandmother who was sick $$, 3) Virgil hurt his ankle - many tests and possible surgery $$, 4) Flex spending medical account was not funded $$, 5) need to replace my car $$, 6) expenses of moving to Mexico $$. 

Financial attacks, one after another. And what is my response? A little giggle and I shake my head. Of course the enemy will attack our finances. But we serve a great God who was already working on the solution. 

Praises: 1) No surgery needed, 2) funding for the trip, 3) several people offering their support for our move to Mexico, 4) amazing deal on a new van that costs so much less than we anticipated. 

Do not forget when your attack comes, that we serve a might God! 

"Do not be afraid..."  
"Be strong and courageous..."
"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world!"

And so it begins...

El Refugio Bajo La Ala De Dios began differently for each of us involved. This is my story. I will never forget the first time I left those beautiful children in Mexico in 2010. I remember my son Christopher asking if we could just bring home a few of the kids. I remember crying for weeks because I just wanted to move there and love them all. As I look back I remember my friend telling me it wasn't time yet, but there would come a day when we were ready. Each time I would visit I wanted to bring some home. But how can you pick just one. Every time, I left a piece of my heart in Mexico.  In August of 2013, we returned from one of our trips and if I'm honest with myself, I knew then, we were supposed to move - I just didn't want to face it yet. It was still far too scary.  

The Lord had put Laura on my heart and I knew He had told me she was my daughter. But what He never told me was that we would bring her to the US. But she was my daughter - that much I knew for sure. 

Every time I would visit I would hear another story of one of the kids, my heart broke and my soul longed to help them in healing. And yet at the same time the thought of moving my family, especially my son with Asperger's, to an entirely different country and culture sounded crazy to me. I enjoyed the comfort and security of my home, my church, and a job I adored. I didn't want to leave the church that had become my family. And yet I kept hearing The Lord tell me this was a time of rest but don't get comfortable. 

The day finally came when denying the call to move became nearly impossible. Then my husband came to me and told me he felt we were supposed to move to Mexico. Well there was no denying it now. Apparently God had told Virgil too. 

Friends were praying with me and it seemed as if we were surely supposed to move. And then came the trip at Christmas. I will never forget walking into the kitchen and Ricardo told me he had been praying and had a vision that I was helping the girls with inner healing and he was translating for me. 

Yep, it was pretty undeniable.  That was when I surrendered my fears and stepped into His vision. Danya had mentioned her dream of an orphanage on many occasions. As it turns out, it's much bigger than we thought. It begins with a transition home for the girls in the orphanage that are coming of age. A safe place for them to live while they go to school, learn a skill, grow in faith, and find a job. 

The vision continues with a refuge for kids and teens that have been victims of human trafficking. Wow! Quite a grand vision. It is terrifying and exciting and amazing. I am at a place where I must rely solely on The Lord. What a great place to be. 

And this ministry begins with my family. A work we will do together. And a wonderful message for my son to learn as he watches us obey The Lord even when it's hard. He will learn to be faithful and obedient even when you're scared, answer the call even when it seems too large. Why? Because God is big enough. And in the words of a good friend, "I don't think God has been in control of everything so far and yet somehow he missed this one thing and got it wrong". That's right, God is big enough. He goes before us, he walks beside us, and he takes up our rear guard. With Him, all things are possible. Even a dream this big. Because it's His dream. 

All In

Today, I was reading All In by Mark Batterson. It's a great book that has really been speaking so much to me. However, today I read the chapter called Rim Huggers. He tells of a story of a time when he went on a trip to hike the rim of the Grand Canyon. As he finishes his 2 day hike he emerges cake in clay, dirt, sweat, and tear only to see people standing on the rim looking out in awe at the Grand Canyon. He said he felt sorry for them. He realized that they probably had some good head knowledge about the grand canyon, probably loved the grand canyon but they had not experienced the grand canyon. That's when I realized something...

I don't want to be a rim hugger. 

I want to enter into the experience and emerge caked in mud, sweat, and tears with every muscle exhausted from work and hear Him say "Well done, my good and faithful servant". What good is a life lived unless you live it the way He wants you to live. In that moment, I realized something else that I hadn't realized....

God had hired wired me for this. 

As I grew up, my natural personality was adventurous. People had ideas and I was the one who carried them out. People had ideas but were nervous or scared and I was the one who pushed all fear aside and said "ok, let's do this".  I was the one who would start implementing and dare to blaze that path that has not yet been gone down. But then things happened in life and I got scared. I began to crave comfort and security and I lost who I was. I went from being extroverted to severely introverted. I shut down that adventurous part of me. 

Well no more! I will be exactly who God has called me to be! Regardless of where it leads. It can lead to Africa, or China, or Las Vegas, or the streets of Tijuana because I know it will lead to the lost, the broken, and the hurting. That's where the battle is and that's where I want to be. 

I will go where He sends me no matter what. Why? Because that is who He made me to be.

Want to read more about the story? Tomorrow I'll let you in on the vision. Stay tuned.